Inclement Weather Policy

	Now that fall is here and will soon be followed by winter, I
thought that the inclement weather policy penned by a friend of mine,
might be appropriate.  This was based very loosely on the real inclement
weather policy at my office.  (The names have been changed to protect the
innocent
				XYZ COMPANY INC.

February 21, 1995

TO:		RTP Staff

SUBJECT:	RTP's Inclement Weather Policy

	Since we have many new staff members who have joined us due to the
large number of casualties incurred during the last few months, I thought
it best if I would restate RTP's Inclement Weather Policy.

	Basically, the policy is: 1) The building is always open. 2) You
are coming to work.  There is no way you are getting a day off with pay.
3) In the event hell does freeze over you can listen to any of the
following radio or television stations:

	620 AM		- WDNC		 TV5 - WRAL
	680 AM/TV28	- WPTF		TV11 - WTVD

	In fact you can listen to any radio station or watch any
television station you please.  What you will find out is that hell is
closed, but you are still coming to work.

	Once again we ask you to use your best judgement in determining
your method of travel.  We suggest ice skates, or perhaps a dogsled (those
huskies are very sure-footed).  Keep in mind you have the following
options:

	1.  Come to work
	2.  Come to work
	3.  Come to work

	Please feel free to whine about the fact that IBM, GLAXO, Northern
Telecom etc. are closed.  We don't care.  If you have any other questions
regarding this policy, we suggest that you find employement elsewhere.