IN THE BEGINNING  [author unknown]
(To justify God's ways to the 21st century.)

In the beginning there was the computer.  And God said

:Let there be light!

#Enter user id.

:God

#Enter password.

:Omniscient

#Password incorrect.  Try again.

:Omnipotent

#Password incorrect.  Try again.

:Technocrat

#And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.

:Let there be light!

#Unrecognizable command.  Try again.

:Create light

#Done

:Run heaven and earth

#And God created Day and Night. And God saw there were 0 errors.
#And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
#Approx. funds remaining: $92.50.

#And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Monday, March 2.

:Let there be firmament in the midst of water and light

#Unrecognizable command.  Try again.

:Create firmament

#Done.

:Run firmament

#And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors.
#And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Monday, March 2.
#Approx. funds remaining: $84.60.

#And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.

:Let the waters under heaven be gathered together unto one place and let
the dry land appear and

#Too many characters in specification string. Try again.

:Create dry_land

#Done.

:Run firmament

#And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors.
#And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.
#Approx. funds remaining: $65.00.

#And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.

:Create lights in the firmament to divide the day from the night

#Unspecified type. Try again.

:Create sun_moon_stars

#Done

:Run sun_moon_stars

#And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors.
#And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.
#Approx. funds remaining: $54.00.

#And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.

:Create fish

#Done

:Create fowl

#Done

:Run fish, fowl

#And God created the great sea monsters and every living creature that
#creepeth wherewith the waters swarmed after its kind and every winged fowl
#after its kind. And God saw there were 0 errors.

#And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.
#Approx. funds remaining: $45.00.

#And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Friday, March 6.

:Create cattle

#Done

:Create creepy_things

#Done

:Now let us make man in our image

#Unspecified type. Try again.

:Create man

#Done

:Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and subdue it and have
:dominion over the fish of the sea and over the fowl of the air and over
:every living thing that creepeth upon the earth

#Too many command operands. Try again.

:Run multiplication

#Execution terminated. 6 errors.

:Insert breath

#Done

:Run multiplication

#Execution terminated. 5 errors.

:Move man to Garden of Eden

#File Garden of Eden does not exist.

:Create Garden.edn

#Done

:Move man to Garden.edn

#Done

:Run multiplication

#Execution terminated. 4 errors.

:Copy woman from man

#Done

:Run multiplication

#Execution terminated. 3 errors.

:Insert woman into man

#Illegal parameters. Try again.

:Insert man into woman

#Done

:Run multiplication

#Execution terminated. 2 errors.

:Create desire

#Done

:Run multiplication

#And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
#Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.

:Create freewill

#Done

:Run freewill

#And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
#Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.

:Undo desire

#Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.

:Destroy freewill

#Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
#Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.

:Help

#Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
#Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
#Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.

:Create tree_of_knowledge

#And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
#Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.

:Create good, evil

#Done

:Activate evil

#And God saw he had created shame.
#Warning system error in sector E95.  Man and woman not in Garden.edn.  1
#errors.

:Scan Garden.edn for man, woman

#Search failed.

:Delete shame

#Shame cannot be deleted once evil has en activated.

:Destroy freewill

#Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
#Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.

:Stop

#Unrecognizable command. Try again

:Break
:Break
:Break

#ATTENTION ALL USERS *** ATTENTION ALL USERS: COMPUTER GOING DOWN FOR
#REGULAR DAY OF MAINTENANCE AND REST IN FIVE MINUTES. PLEASE LOG OFF.

:Create new world

#You have exceeded your allocated file space. You must destroy old files
#before new ones can be created.

:Destroy earth

#Destroy earth: Please confirm.

:Destroy earth confirmed

#COMPUTER DOWN *** COMPUTER DOWN.  SERVICES WILL RESUME SUNDAY, MARCH 8 AT
6:00 AM. YOU MUST SIGN OFF NOW.

#And God logged off at 11:59:59 PM, Friday, March 6.
#Approx. funds remaining: $0.00.