CREATIVITY PERMIT 001

In the beginning, God created Heaven and Earth, in that order; He lit up
the sky with stars, separated the water from the land, and made life.
Quickly, He was faced with a class-one action suit for failing to file an
environmental impact statement.

He was granted an immediate permit for the heavenly portion of the
project, but was only issued a temporary permit for the hell portion
because of the lack of suitable location.  God stated to the review board
that all He was trying to do was to be creative - that's how He acquired
the nickname "Creator."

Then God said, "Let there be light."  The government inspectors were
immediately on His doorstep, banging on the heavenly gates, demanding to
know how the light would be generated and where would He get the energy.
Not from Arab oil.  Not from Colorado oil shale.  Solar energy was out of
the question.  Was He aware of the Environmental Protection Plan, the
Conservation Plan or the Anti-Pollution Plan?  God tried to explain that
the light would come from a huge ball of fire and far enough away so it
would not damage or pollute Earth. He was then granted provisional
permission to make light, assuming that no smoke, fire, or ashes would
result from this ball of fire.  First He would have to file a patent,
obtain a building permit, and to conserve energy, the light must be out
half the time, and temperature controlled in accordance with government
standards for summer and winter.

God agreed and said He would call the light "day," and the darkness
"night." Officials replid they were not interested in the technicalities
but would appreciate just a few basic operating and emergency procedures
in case the light should go out.  Service and reliability was important.

"Let the earth bring forth green herbs, trees and fruit and such others as
may be needed to feed upon," said God.  The EPA agreed as long as native
seeds were used.  God said, "Let the waters bring forth the creeping
creatures having life, and the fowl that may fly over the earth."

Officials pointed out that this would require approval of the Fish and
Game Commission, coordinated with the Wildlife Federation, and, if flight
through the heavenly bodies of space was anticipated, would also require
approval from NASA and the FAA, depending upon altitude of travel and
purpose.

Everything was OK until God said He wanted to complete the project in six
days and rest on the seventh.  Officials said that it would require paying
everybody time-and-a-half for the sixth day, but He would be pretty hard-
pressed in finding anyone to work.

Officials said that now that He had his plans worked out, the building
review board needed ninety days to consider the application and
evironmental impact statements.  After that, there would be public
hearings.  Then there would be an R&D prototype model exhibited first
before going into production, and within the next twelve months he should
have all the necessary approvals.

And God said, "Earth is where I'll place hell and they can figure out
where to relocate it!"